


Ridiculous (But They Ain't Got Nothing On You Remix)

by sebastian2017



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: (More specifically the ways Erik is terrible at it), Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, M/M, Mob Boss Erik Lehnsherr, Pillow Talk, estranged husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 09:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19827685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastian2017/pseuds/sebastian2017
Summary: As fun as their games are, Erik thinks it might be time for a change.





	Ridiculous (But They Ain't Got Nothing On You Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [But They Ain't Got Nothing on You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19400173) by [brawlingdiscontent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawlingdiscontent/pseuds/brawlingdiscontent). 
  * In response to a prompt by [brawlingdiscontent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawlingdiscontent/pseuds/brawlingdiscontent) in the [xmen_remix_madness2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmen_remix_madness2019) collection. 



> CW: implied organized crime, mentions of sex

“Don’t you think this is starting to get a bit ridiculous?” 

Charles glances at him, still groggy and boneless from their latest bout of sex. Erik is unbearably endeared by it and he almost wishes he hadn’t said anything at all. He’s always been fond of watching how adorably at peace Charles looks while he sleeps, even if that probably does make him unbearably creepy. (More so than his usual choices do.) Charles will no doubt be wide awake after this. Still, as fun as their little games are, he misses having his husband around properly. 

“Hmm?” Charles pushes himself up onto one elbow to look at him. “Is  _ what  _ getting a bit ridiculous?” 

“You know. That thing we do where we’re apart, come together in increasingly dramatic ways, have the most fantastic sex of our lives, and then go our separate ways again,” Erik explains. 

Charles frowns. “Don’t mistake my sleeping with you for me wanting to rekindle our marriage or anything equally silly.”

“Charles, we’re still married!” Erik reminds him. “And don’t start with that whole ‘we’re in the process of getting divorced’ shit because if you truly wanted us to be divorced, it would have been finalized a long time ago.” 

“...you might have a slight point there,” Charles relents. He looks like it causes him physical pain to say it, which Erik wouldn’t really be all that surprised to find out is true. Erik plans on pushing the small victory in getting Charles to admit that, hoping to take his slight lead and expand on it, but Charles tugs him closer and wraps his arms around Erik’s neck. He asks, “Don’t we have much better things to do than talk about this?” 

He pulls Erik up close to him while he starts kissing him and Erik falls right into the trap of it. He’s not a complete and total idiot. He knows Charles is just trying to distract him so he’ll forget the topic and just get lost in sex again. It’s the same tactic he always uses it. Probably because it always works. Knowing full well that it’s a trick does nothing to make it easier to resist. Erik loses himself in it for a bit, getting his hands and lips all over Charles until he finally just straddles him and starts sucking a possessive line of hickeys down Charles’ neck. He wishes they could start every morning like this, which is the thought that gets him back on track. 

As much as it pains him, Erik pulls away and stares down sternly at Charles. “Don’t distract me, you fiend. I mean it. I love you and I want us to be a proper couple once more. Haven’t I done enough groveling to get you back?” 

“Your lifestyle is too extreme for me, Erik. You know that,” he insists. 

Erik scoffs softly. “Of course. Because our habit of kidnapping or setting each other up every few months is far less extreme than living with me.” 

“It’s a fun way to be married, you have to admit that much,” Charles says. 

“I suppose.” He sighs. “We don’t have to be boring just because we’re living together. I would be very happy to keep kidnapping you even when we’re in the same house.” 

Charles rolls his eyes. “You’re ridiculous. What’s triggered this little affair, by the way? You’re not usually quite so sentimental.” 

“You went on a date with Sebastian Shaw to make me jealous.  _ Shaw  _ of all people. That’s low, even for you,” Erik grumbles. 

“It worked, didn’t it?” Charles grins and leans up to kiss Erik, who allows it for a brief moment before pulling back again. No, no, he won’t be distracted again. 

“Surely there were other options before you needed to stoop so low as to try seducing Shaw to get to me,” he says. He would have probably even preferred seeing Charles on a date with one of his hitmen. Even the big hairy one. Shaw was probably the lowest any human being could stoop. 

Charles shrugs. “I figured if you really did wind up taking him out back and shooting him like a dog, Shaw wouldn’t be a great loss to the world.” 

“See? That sort of brilliant thinking is exactly why I need my husband back in my life,” Erik laments. 

He gets off Charles and rolls over to his side of the bed, where he lays all splayed out on his back and pouts. It’s a childish tactic, but Erik hopes he might look pathetic enough to convince Charles to give living together another try. It’s not the most dignified of looks for someone who ran in seedy underground circles and was better known for murder than begging, but Charles had always been wildly successful in bringing out Erik’s pathetic side. 

“You look like a terribly sad puppy, darling,” Charles snorts. “Our escapades are just so much fun! Things would get so terribly boring without them.” 

“Like I said. I’m more than happy to keep kidnapping you and engaging in primitive displays of public warfare for your attention,” Erik insists. He’ll put on a great big show if that’s what Charles wants. People tailing him in the city, getting cornered in dark alleys, shady white vans to drive him home, et cetera et cetera. Perhaps Erik can install a dramatic tower in the house, like those imprisoned princesses in fairy tales. He’s amenable to suggestions. 

Charles looks him over dubiously. “Is that a promise or just overly indulgent pillow talk?” 

“Give me a trial month of living here with me and I’ll show you how very serious I am,” Erik insists. 

“...You can have a trial week,” Charles decides, after several moments of careful consideration. “My standards are very high, be warned.” 

“Deal.” Erik gets up and grabs his boxers from the floor, so he can be at least semi decent when he goes to his office. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a few phone calls.” 

**Author's Note:**

> for questions, prompts, or chatting I can be found on tumblr at [sebbym17](http://sebbym17.tumblr.com/)


End file.
